Life And Lessons – Part 1

Finally I feel like breathing fresh air. It was one horrible experience in my entire lifetime. But I feel so proud of myself for what I have overcome. It wasn’t easy at all. I’m an extremely private person who likes to keeps things about me to myself. But I decided to post about all these experiences hoping somebody out there will be benefited from all these writings of mine. This is a series post. I will be writing about my life in this series.

I recently had gone through a major, transformative and light shedding experience in myself where I learned so many valuable lessons. I was fighting with so much crap in my life including severe emotional pain, problems with self-love and self-esteem, some sort of loss, emotional instability, stress, etc. Fortunately and hopefully it came to an end, I believe.

I don’t know where to start with. Let start from the recent then go backward. The very recent lesson that I learned is that you should not give away your power. I mean the power you have for yourself. It is the key to the pleasant life. When you are not in your power, you let other people to treat you like a doormat. Say for instance I would like to share my experience that hurt me as well as frustrated me, when one of my friend (he says best friend) started to depend on me too much.

It would not be a big deal for me if was feeling myself good. Things began to boil up when he started to cross his boundaries. It was so hard for me to do anything because I was hurt and didn’t wanted us to end in bad terms. Initially I started to give him subtle signs and things. When I came to knew that it is not working I told him directly. I assume that either he didn’t understood the meaning of what I said or didn’t understood the seriousness of what I said.

When it comes friendships, not to brag, but I’m that kind of friend who will be there for you, who will listen to you no, patient, gives advice and support, etc. I am an introvert and always have hard time in socializing. I’m so selective when it comes to friends because, some might say superficial standard, I want them to not forcefully change me and accept me as the way I really am. Therefore I only allow very few people to enter into my inner circle. Also I believe any relationship should be mutual. But I don’t expect anything return. I don’t want my friends to listen to me as I do for them or be there for me every time. I didn’t knew that I was expecting appreciation subconsciously.

Basically it might be the reason that made the situation worse. I felt like my friend didn’t appreciated what I did for him every then and now. It may or may not be true. Nobody knows what is right or wrong. I detached myself from that friend, claimed my power back. I was crying to god to give a resolution to this situation. I was so exhausted. I was deeply hurt. I was so frustrated that things went wrong (I am a perfectionist). Slowly I forgave myself and others involved in the situation.

Now we’re just friends. I didn’t wrote this post to insult or disrespect my friend or anything. But to give an instance of a fraction of what I have dealt with these days. I don’t have any problem with him. I realized sometimes you need to accept things in the way they turns out. I wrote this post because I wanted it to release it out, only because it needed to be. I’m so sorry to my friend for whatever happened between us and for writing it in my blog. Though written with no intention to hurt you or insult you though.

Stick around for the next part.

Love

Vysag

(P.S. : This post is not written with any intention of hurting anyone’s feelings or emotions or to disrespect them. The only intention behind my post is to share my life experience)

©Silent Story Of Vysag

15 thoughts on “Life And Lessons – Part 1

  1. Hi Vysag,

    I sense a pour of sincere vulnerability reading your post. Such vulnerability seldom sprouts in the soil of public domain. I salute you for your courage. Courage is an expression of the intangible faith that convicts our heart. I hope to glean the nature of this faith thru your posts as you open my ignorant eyes by your eloquence.

    I too have a desire to walk this path you tread. Sharing a life that lurks in the shadows. It remained in the shadows this long for many reasons. I see telling our story is partly to share the journey about the nature and relationship with these shadows as much as what we desire to reveal.

    Courage is only useful in the moment, it is fleeting, and left unattended it dissipates into the ether. Likewise faith that’s serves us is only meaningful for the moment, for the now. Else faith is pent up anxiety and frustrates.
    The bible says in Heb11:1, “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.”

    To support understanding of Heb11:1, faith is experiencing now what we are hoping to obtain in the future. Hope is a future destination and experience of what that destination brings.

    One day somewhere this month or last, I saw that Heb11:1 fits nicely with Psalms 119:105 that says, “Your word is a lamp to my feet And a light to my path.”

    The amalgamated form of Heb11:1 and Psalm119:105 looks something like this,” Your word of faith is a lamp to my feet for the now and your word of hope is a light to my path for my destination.”

    I am honoured to witness you as a forerunner sharing your unique life that is the God purposed and willed. I offer my sincere love support through this comment, playing a small part to support your noble endeavour which I see as pouring out your life as a love offering for the sake of many. Emulating the Lord Jesus. He gives form and substance to true purpose and true hope.

    Liked by 1 person

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